JDHD: How Song Order can change an album

 

A good friend of mine, Jobiflowers started posting music on his YouTube channel with an album called JDHD. The name of the album is intentional, it comes as he grappled with his struggles with ADHD.

But that's not quite what I want to look at with this work. Instead, I want to look at something I distinctly remember experiencing. See, the songs of the album were released in one order. Then, he released a compilation of the track in a whole other order. And the Bandcamp release is in its own order (not to mention the combined album, which I won't talk about here).

This all means that the story being told drastically changes depending on how you listen to it. And it's fascinating. And I want to talk about it.

But first, time for a song by song analysis, in the original release order.

Song-by-song Analysis

Father Danger

The first of many love related songs, Father Danger seems to be about failing to love. "I tried, I tried oh, but she was not sold" and "from a kiss to a text" all point out how the protagonist is failing to maintain romantic relationships.

But, he keeps on trying. "Back to groove, Find my next" "We improve, see success". Resilience is important, but can create a reputation. It could also be that the protagonist is most comfortable in picking up new girls, since he can't keep them, so his groove is finding them.

The chorus reveals a few things. "They call me Father Danger" could mean that he has a reputation of being a person that a girl's father would not approve of.

"Napenda kama stranger" [I love you like a stranger - Google Translate] could be pointing to the reason for his failures. That he is never really getting to know these girls, or that they never get to know him.

"I thought that I could change her, to justify, the way I lie" - This is concerning. But let's take a step back and look at it in relation to the meaning of the album. What is he lying about? Well, being neurotypical I suppose. "Normal". Perhaps if he could just make a girl accept who he is and how he works, he could stop pretending to be normal, and finally be who he really is. Otherwise, he will keep being a stranger.

Talk To Me Nice

Here is another love related song, themed around meeting someone, probably in a club. It's a flirty song, and repeats the main motif of "Talk to me nice", which is used as a gentle way of saying "flirt with me!" Towards the end of the song, there are some lyrics which are harder to hear, and I've always heard them as very uhh, naughty lyrics. But jobiflowers has confirmed to me at some point that they aren't.

There is a recognition that it's not the greatest thing to be doing, but it does feel good, with the lyric "sick and so nice". But the song is overflowing with pleasure and seduction. A feeling of not caring, because she's "Twerking so nice".

Fear Response

Unlike the other songs in this album, Fear Response does not have any lyrics. Nor does it have a traditional beat. A haunting and sharp melody plays, with a lone singer almost wailing in a rhythm that follows the auditory appearance of a sine graph, which apparently is supposed to mean "God is Coming". And throughout, screaming. Screams of people, children, mothers.

Something is happening, something bad. Is it a representation of one's internal self, or is it divine judgement from a god? Either way, something cruel is happening.

The lyrics visualiser ends this by saying "God is here", so it seems a lot of violence, destruction, and fear happened even without the divine judgement. And then He arrives. The beat is gone, the voices are silent, all that's left is a vague drone. 

The track ends on a child crying, alone. The only thing left after divine reckoning. 

What is it that is being feared? What is being responded to? This can depend, depending on what comes before, and what comes after.

Me and Me

This is the track that stands closest to the name of the album itself. Me and Me is about ADD/ADHD, and calls it out specifically in the line "Call it ADD".

The lyric visualiser has a looping video of JOBI running through a forest, being chased by some kind of entity. A setting taken from the first proper lyric "Through the bushes and the trees". JOBI is running away from his ADD. However, this is not successful.

"Standing on my own, but I'm not alone" "Standing next to me" both show how the ADD is close, never far. To make matters worse, it controls him. He has no hope of escape, because "I'm a slave to him, deep inside my skin".

There is a hint of blaming himself for it in the line "I have let him in". Perhaps a bit of the old 'I have sinned and must repent' attitude?

Or does he seek to avoid blaming himself by characterising it as something else, rather than a part of him. "Green and yellow eyes, Tryna take my soul, Tryna take control" brings up snake imagery, like the one in the Jungle Book, hypnotising. Temptation even, considering the snake and Eve.

"Stepping on my feet" shows how he considers ADD to be stopping his ambitions. "From birth to coffin, He will always win" shows that there is recognition that escape is impossible.

It's a defeatist track, considering that there are strategies, therapies, even medical drugs you can go through to help avoid your life being controlled by ADD. Perhaps then, this is closer to a moment of revelation, where the ADD is discovered, and consequently blamed for everything?

Pain is King

I could write a whole essay on this song alone, so I'll have to do the footnotes. It's very biblical, initially questioning God about the pain and suffering that JOBI has gone through. Why does it all happen if god is peaceful? What is the purpose. The turning point comes midway through, where JOBI declares that he understands now. "Pain is King". In the end though, an interesting lyrics states "I'm not free, spell in me" which shows that he's believing that something is locking him up (such as the ADD we just spoke about).

To do more analysis, I need to do some biblical research, and probably figure out how Luo, Kiswahili, and English can all be combined for lyrics because he gets creative with it. But just know that after all the suffering, Pain is King.

Trees are Crying

After all the drama, energy, and pain from before, Trees are Crying is a far more melancholic song. Piano focussed, soft on the lyrics.

The question is about who is singing it. "I know what you want, your dreams I've had" seems to indicate that it's either JOBI, now wiser, or someone else. Or, it's JOBI from the future, talking to his younger self. "Now I'm here and I'm sorry, Couldn't tell our story" is vital, as he has returned to impart wisdom, but he couldn't accomplish everything they wanted.

This whole time, trees are crying. "It's not raining, no, the trees are crying". The JOBI from the future is not surprised. "I know why the trees cry for us", but he does not share it. Perhaps, the trees, far older and wiser than us, see our pain and lament.

The song may seem reassuring, but nothing about it is. Where is the hope in being unable to tell the story? What has been learnt from the pain and suffering aside from the fact that... well, the trees cry for us. The journey is not yet over. I believe that JOBI now and in the future still has work to do before they can achieve their dreams.

Original Order

The linchpin in the story of JDHD is "Fear Response", as it is the track that changes the status quo. In the original order, we see someone who is churning through relationships, struggling to make things stick. Then, Fear Response happens. A revelation. A reprimand. From there, he discovers the ADD inside, and is horrified at it. Everything hits at once, and he questions capital G.O.D. From there, he picks up a new philosophy, Pain is King, and embarks upon a new life. Only, well, it might not be quite correct.

As an aside, Trees are Crying is always the final track. Meaning, nothing ever turns out like it was meant to. 

In terms of momentum, there are separate spikes of energy, mixed with time to relax and reflect in-between.

Lyric Visualiser order

1) Me and Me
2) Pain is King
3) Father Danger
4) Talk to me Nice
5) Fear Response
6) Trees are crying

The story here is drastically different. We start with knowing the ADD, feeling burdened by it, and discovering the "pain is king" philosophy. So JOBI tries to make it work. Go through life, churn through relationships, try to make something stick. But then the vital pushback happens. Fear Response (the visualiser calls it the unlisted track). I believe here that whatever hardship JOBI thinks he experienced before is nothing compared to what he sees in Fear Response. It's heartbreaking. Enough so that we end with Trees are Crying, with sympathy for the pain.

Bandcamp Order

1) Father Danger
2) Pain is King
3) Me and Me
4) Talk to Me Nice
5) Fear Response
6) Trees are Crying

Here we establish the 'Father Danger' personality before anything else. The churning of relationships. Only after does JOBI slowly have the realisation about the ADD, and the philosophy of "Pain is King" helps him decide that he can never overcome the ADD. So instead, he tries to continue with life, with making this thing work in some way. I'm reminded again of Eve's temptation, because that's what Talk to Me Nice is. And guess what happens? Divine punishment. JOBI fell for some temptation, and suffers brutally.  Once again, we are left with the trees, crying. Sympathy.

Conclusion

As you can see in my brief summaries, the order of this album changes the story being told. Each song plays into the next, influencing each other. This is what we have lost in an age of singles. And while the story (as well as pacing of the album, even the volume you perceive) might not be obvious from casually listening to an album, it can become apparent when you focus on it.

I'm thankful to jobiflowers/JOBI for changing the order several times. It's given me different ways to appreciate his first album, and music as a whole. When I had the idea of writing about my thoughts on the music I listen to, this was one of the first things that came to my mind.

You can find the music on YouTube here, or listen on Bandcamp here.

Perhaps I'll take another look at his music, maybe a whole analysis of Pain is King, or at the other albums. Or just, a different song entirely.

Original post on Instagram here.